TUESDAY AND VERA

Showered after breakfast, but didn't wash my hair, as I had planned to have Great Clips do it today (but see below).  I then spent almost the whole morning sorting and filing the mountain of papers I've accumulated. 

The access van picked me up at 1:00 and took me to WinCo. I didn't get everything on my list because I had scheduled it for only 45 minutes--why I didn't make it longer, I don't know. Anyway, I still have several staples to get, which I will today at Von's. 

Re hair: When I got home, I worked up my courage and washed it in the shower (my hair, that is, not  my courage🤩). That means I took two showers yesterday, so now I don't have to wash for a month or so--ha! Had turkey stir-fry for dinner, along with cabbage fritters. 

Called El to tell her about my hair, but she'll still come over at noon today. We'll go to Von's, then over to Oxnard to the P.T., then visit The Manor, another independent living place in Ojai. I'll stay over at her place--yay!--and on Thursday, we'll lunch at The Orchard.  

But bad news: I had a text this morning from Vera, the head of our Soaring Spirits widows' group. She had mentioned this as a possibility a month or so ago, but I was hoping it wouldn't come about. She and her daughter, Kendra, are moving back to her native Oregon, where her son lives, mostly because of money issues. One of these days, I'll sketch out her background, where is plenty interesting, but very tragic. Darn, even though she's close to my grandson's age, she's one of my favorite people and I'll miss her.

MONDAY

About 9:00, just as I was preparing breakfast, Sharon called. She told  me she and Lewis had gone to the movies, then proceeded to tell me the entire plot, scene by scene (it seemed more like word-for-word) of Sarah's Oil. By the time she  finished her narrative, she had talked for a good forty minutes, but oh, well. 

Niece Carolyn got here about noon, carrying a big, yummy, delicious SUB!  Okay, it wasn't a Sacco sub, the best that ever existed in the universe, but it was good. I provided the IPA for both of us and we settled down to eat and talk, talk, talk, always a fine thing to do with family. 

She and Dana had gone for a tour of the Santa Barbara Cemetery, conducted by a historian, and they had bought his book. Carolyn brought it with her to show me, as she knows I've always been fascinated to go to them:

Interestingly, after the tour, Carolyn volunteered to do some of his research and he accepted the offer with pleasure. It's perfect for her, as she's been a professional grant writer and researcher for years. 

After Carolyn left, I decided I'd like the book, so looked into Amazon. The book is listed and described, but a message read "This book is unavailable". I'm not sure why, but will continue to pursue it. 

After our pleasant visit, I made up  my mind I wasn't going to stay in anymore, so I took my cart and walked carefully out to get my mail.  I then called the Access Van and requested a trip tomorrow afternoon to WinCo. I'm running very low on staples, so will stock up at least on fresh produce and a few other essentials.   

Got a call from Tiffany, the executive director at the Orchard to say how much they're looking forward to seeing Ellen and me at lunch on----? I forgot--must call El and see which day we're due. Did so and it's tomorrow; lots more coming up, too. 

SUNDAY

Early on, yesterday was pretty much a bummer: I did very little, aside from my usual, washing and changing the bedclothes. Didn't go out at all except to have lunch on the patio. I also took two naps, a short one right after breakfast, then another on the couch later in the day. I'm a little concerned about this--I don't think it's healthy and it's not so much that I'm really tired--just bored, I guess.

I was scheduled to go to a BCNN lunch with Julie today, but called her to say I was concerned about my balance, so cancelled. I'll see her at the Christmas party next month, though. 

Things started looking up by 5:00 pm, though, when I turned to my darling daughter. Ellen was just driving home from the meadow, where she and Greg had hiked. They had taken separate cars and Greg had gone back to Santa Barbara to get salad ingredients and taken them to Ellen's, where she would cook up spaghetti squash to add to their dinners. (Damn, they sound like an old married couple.) 

Anyway, I was then pleased to get a call from niece Carolyn and we had a good chat. She offered to come down from SB to visit today, assuming the "gutter man"*  didn't come and I enthusiastically agreed. She said she'd bring lunch and told her I'll contribute IPAs, of which I have plenty. 

I was so glad to get a batch of pictures from Tokyo and how Mr. K. has grown!  At twelve, he's a handsome boy, as tall as his father. In fact, K. was in a school play recently and in that, he wore his Dad's suit.

Even after naps, I slept well last night and just got up at 5:30.

SATURDAY

DAMN--it's now 3:00 pm on Saturday and I just now published yesterday's entry! This has happened before and I'm going to leave a note to myself to prevent it. 

Did a color wash before breakfast, ate, then just cleaned up a bit. The office called to say I must removed the decorative items near my door. Why they give a damn, I don't know, but I said I couldn't do it by myself and I'd ask my daughter to do it on Wednesday.  

I want to have Suzanne and Vickie over soon for happy hour, but will probably wait until I have an announcement to make. My dear friend, Noreen, called to ask how the checking the independent living routes went and we discussed Ellen's and my findings so far. After the smoke clears, I'll take her for lunch with the one I choose.

Ellen called to tell me that The Artesian, which we had planned to visit on Wednesday, is actually only for assisted living and memory care, so that's off our list. We have The Manor scheduled for 4:00 on Wednesday, but she'll see if we can make it earlier. If so, El will pick me up sometime in the late morning, we'll have lunch, then I'll sleep over her place (the house is finished and I can't wait to see it) and we'll go to the physical therapy in Oxnard on Thursday. On Friday, Irene will pick me up for lunch--whew. And yippee, the following week Mike and Vivian will be here for Thanksgiving. It was a little cool, so lunched on the patio.

Other than that, nothing much went on...aside from an unpleasant interlude on the phone on which I don't want to elaborate.

FRIDAY AND CYPRESS PLACE

One more visitation yesterday: We went to Cypress Place and got the tour from the manager, Mike. I've been there before, as I have with most of the others, just for various reasons. Anyway, it's not bad, but also not a favorite. It's only twenty years old, but still seems a tad dated. The rooms were pretty good and several had balconies. A big asset would be its close proximity to the Von's shopping center (not the one across from me now) and to the bus stop--not that I've felt comfortable riding the bus lately. 

We didn't have lunch there, but had intended to stop at Subway, then eat at my place. However, El had a doctor's appointment at 4:30, so we stopped elsewhere for a burrito. El took me home, then went off.

So there are more places in Ojai to go, which we will on Wednesday. We'll visit Artesian and The Manor, then I'll sleep over El's and she'll take me to the P.T. place in Oxnard.    

Irene W. texted me and we agreed to meet for lunch next Friday.. Stella called and ditto for her; we talked for some time, as she's also looking for independent or assisted living, also. Just back from Vietnam, Mike called to ask about our progress re independent living and I brought him up to date.

Unfortunately, I got up several times during the night, finally conking out for good something like 2:00 am. That's disappointing, considering I had been active.  Today--finally--I have nothing scheduled and hope to catch on things.   

WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY

Once again, I forgot to post this yesterday. That's the second time and I have no excuse except that--well, I forgot.  

WEDNESDAY: In the morning, I steeled myself to take the trash out and pick up the mail from yesterday, being especially careful to push the cart and walk reasonably slowly. 

I was alarmed to get a notice from the post office that a registered letter had come from a law firm in Jersey, which they tried to deliver yesterday, but nobody was there to sign it. What? I had been home all day on Tuesday and nobody had rung the bell. I decided to ask Noreen to drop me at the P.O. after we went to lunch. Did a color wash and cleaned up a bit before she did at 1:00. I had asked her to decide where to go to eat and she chose Danny's Deli, which was fine by me. Her friend, Gary, met us there and we had a good time. As ever, Noreen and I talked and talked and Gary mostly listened--or didn't listen, as he was a hearing loss. I know he has a aid, but he doesn't seem to use it and we have to repeat a lot. 

After a leisurely meal,  we said goodbye to Gary and Noreen took me to the post office. It turned out the letter was no big deal. It was from a firm announcing about a new development being planned in Little Egg close to Sunrise Bay, where my house is. I guess it's just a legal requirement to notify nearby residents. 

Home at 3:00 and I was tired. Watched T.V. for an hour or so, then took a short nap. After dinner, I played around on the laptop. Happily I slept well and just got up at 5:15.

Today, Ellen will get here at 12:30 and we'll start on our quest for Mama's living arrangements. Now I'm actually looking forward to it, strangely enough--the quest, that is, maybe not the actual move.  

THURSDAY:  Now it's 7:00 am on Thursday, November 7. I'm going to make this short although it was a very full day. We got to our first look-see, The Lexington, at 12:30, and were greeted by (the director? the manager? The Big Mahoff?--Can't remember the title) and shown around. It's pleasant enough, but seemed a little dated (it opened 46 years ago). I thought the apartments were oddly laid out, especially the one-bedroom ones, which I would probably choose.  We were then ushered into the dining room (not impressive) and had lunch. Ellen had a taco salad and I a hamburger, which did it for me. It was clearly from the freezer--and I was naive to ask for it rare, and it was clearly a pre-shaped, bought frozen one, perfectly round and grayish. What's more, they don't serve alcohol, so no IPA--horrors! Of course, you can bring your own, but.... Of course, it hall all the usual amenities, but considering the negatives--and remarkably, it was one of higher priced ones--no.

Next, we visited The Orchard. I'm not going in to a lot of detail, but just read the previous paragraph and turn all the negatives to positives. It's only twenty years old, the dining room was lovely and there were nicely printed menus on all the tables, and the one-bedroom had a wonderful large balcony looking over the landscape. To top it off, we talked about the cost--well, we negotiated and it's actually lower than the one at The Lexington.  I also liked the fact that there, the independent living section is in  different building from the assisted living/memory care.  If that sounds mean, so be it. The only drawback--wouldn't you know, there was one--is that it's in Ventura, not Ojai, so is an extra fifteen minutes away from Ellen's. Anyway, here's The Orchard:

I'm going to end this now, but there was much, much more to like about The Orchard, including Carissa Peach (love the name!), the sales director, who showed us around. Ellen had told her about me, mentioning Fractured Actors and my writing, and so on. I was amazed when she gave me this notebook for my writings:

The three of us had a lot of laughs together and I told her that when I was in H.R., so long ago, I would hired her immediately.

Anyway, home about 5:00 and El and I talked about our experiences at the two places. Today, we go to Cypress Place at 12:00, but won't lunch there, as El has a doctor's appointment at 3:00. Now I'm going to end this have breakfast--sorry for the missed entry. 💖

TUESDAY AND DIANE KEATON

 I slept well, I'm glad to report, and got up at 5:15. Yes, that's a little early, but I was asleep before 10:00 and it was okay. 

After breakfast, I called Muckie and we had a good long talk; she's doing fairly well, considering her malady. As always, we talked candidly about her condition, our marriages, sex, and other topics that would have been anathema to our parents. She asked me to say hello to Pat R., and I'll do that now:     

                 💓HELLO, PATTI, FROM YOUR SISTER R.N. AND OLD FRIEND, MUCKIE!!!💓

Ellen called to report on the house renovations, which are almost completely finished. She also spent time making our dates to see independent living places in both Ojai and Ventura, setting up two for tomorrow.  

Finally got some chores done, including scrubbing the bathroom, as well kitchen counters. Then I kind of sat around waiting for Dr. Ficks, the endocrinologist, to Zoom me at 3:00. When she did, she said I was doing pretty well and should stay on my present weekly regime. and continue until 2027. She also asked how old my mother was when she died, when I was born and so on, and we chatted a bit about our  personal lives. Her father died at 99 last year and her mother, still living, is 98. She marveled over how mentally sound I am (ha--many would probably dispute that) and I enjoyed exchanging family backgrounds. Didn't get lunch until after 4:00 and boy, was I hungry. I had a salmon patty sandwich and it was yum.

Called Noreen to be sure she remembered to pick me up today for our lunch date. She did and she will. 

I finished watching The Godfather last night; incredibly, it's now 46 years old, but still wonderfully well done. However, I never liked the acting style of Diane Keaton, who died less than a month ago at 79. She seemed limp and uninvolved in the role, even somewhat dazed. The other actors were generally excellent, especially members of the Godfather's biological family and Mafia "family."